Bar Mitzvah

Had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day...we meandered a heck of a lot in between but the basic topic was: "when do you REALLY grow up?" A seemingly innocous question but isn't it always the simple ones that are the hardest to solve?-_-" I suppose a general way of viewing it would be that a person grows up when they have their own steady job, have moved out of the house, can stand on their own feet, yadda yadda...don't know why but this story popped into my mind...god...aren't I always spouting allegorical nonsense?*sheepish smile*nonetheless it goes something like this...an orthodox Jewish girl becomes pregnant out of wedlock...in desperation she seeks counsel from her doctor who sympathetically gives her this piece of advice : "Do you want to know my definition of an adult? It's someone who wakes up one morning & says to himself, "I no longer care what my parents think.' To me, that's the real psychological bar mitzvah."

To those of you who might be wondering what a bar mitzvah is...it's a rite of passage that Jewish adolescents have to go through when they're 'bout 12...traditionally it was meant for only male children who would have to symbolically prove their manhood by reading the Torah or Jewish holy book in front of the whole congregation but I digress...having said that I don't expect people to immediately walk up to their parents & give them the equivalent of flipping them the bird...that would be stupid not to mention suicidal*wince* personally I think that it's more a state of mind...who among us can honestly say that we couldn't care less whether or not we receive unflinching support and approval from our parents?could you honestly say that it really doesn't matter to you whether or not your parents are proud of you?usually the deep-down gnarled twists in our psyches generally yearn for such recognition whether we choose to admit it or not*wry grin*perhaps it's more like one day you wake up and realise that while you might WANT your parents' approval...it's not precisely something you NEED...does that make sense?of course this is always subject to circumstances but I kinda think that on that fateful day...the thought that "I want to do what makes ME happy" might be the first along that line of thought however selfish it may seem*crooked grin*

Comments

[John KJ]

Huh, your blog is abit convulated. But according to the law, you are considered an adult when you are 21, an eligable to vote, hence fulfilling all requirements that makes you an adult.

When you are truly 'grown up' I guess it's to do with state of mind and maturity, and probably given the freedom to do what you want within the law, which is still about 21 years of age.

I disagree on 'I don't care what my parents think' notion though. According to Jewish religion, from the 10 commandments, to honor your parents is the only blessing that comes from the 10 commandments, which is that you will inherit long blessed life. No doubt that the the word 'honouring' your parents is pretty ambigious, as to what are the guidelines of honouring your parents are. Especially not everyone is blessed with good parents who only want the best for their children, as there are parents who scorn their children thinking that they are the reason for their miseries, when they could have gone off and be a famous actor but couldn't because she got pregnant. :P

My personal view to a grown up? Probably similar to your initial answer, mental maturity and independence. Though independence is abit broad as well. As there's still alot of great people today like Lee Hsien Loong (Prime Minister of Singapore)for example, still 'can say' under control of his father Lee Kuan Yew. But heck, independence doesn't mean being a rebel. But knowing what is right or logical, and acting upon it without being a spoilt child.

[ArcticFox]

What is this "growing up" thing you all speak of?